LS Very Slow Reading III

From: Andreas Deppner (atomic-s@muenster.de)
Date: Wed May 31 2000 - 21:25:34 BST


Wiltrud, Rick, Miv, Jon, Keith et al,

Right Rick. Lets deal with the conscious output of RMP. Let's stick to the
book, Let's read some more paragraphs.

" But that wasn't how it would be. When Lila's eyes opened in a hung-over
daze she'd look in the features of a gray-haired man she wouldn't even
remember - someone she met in a bar the previous night."

Shocks!! No paradise. The wish will not be fullfilled. No smiling parents
but a gray- haired man(Social quality antagonism), no bacon cooking on a
stove (biological quality antagonism). Lila's eyes would not sparkle with
excitement. Lila would see an old man she does not even know. And the dazed
and foggy sight is dipped in a headache (no enligthenment as an antagonism
to "prospect of a new day of sunlight"). Bad news.

" Her nausea and headache might produce some remorse and self-contempt but
not much, he thought - she'd been through this many times - and she'd slowly
try to figure out how to return to the life she'd been leading before she
met this one." (I am not sure if I cited this sentence 100 % right - I
missed a part of the sentence when writing it down. And right now I can not
get hold of the book - hopefully it is o.k.anyway)

She is caught in a cycle of going through this situation over and over again
and then remorse and self-contempt. She can not get out and slowly she sinks
deeper and deeper into self-contempt. Nothing new, same old story. Lila is
caught in a energetic trap.

" Her voice murmured something like 'Look Out !' "

This says the part of Lila which just wants to survive. ' Look Out ' as a
message from the subconsciousness to her consciousness? The cycle described
is already on a level beneath consciousness. Reminding me of RMP as he
writes in ZAMM that the intellect does not see any reason to survive but the
body cells do not see any reason to die either (well this is not the exact
quote and I do not know where it is in ZAMM). Something in Lila is fighting.

" Then she said something unintelligible and turned away, then pulled the
blanket up around her head, perhaps against the cold breeze that came down
throught the open hatch."

See how the narrator sometimes knows and sometimes does not. He knew that
she has been through this many times and he does not know why she pulled the
blanket up around her head. So we have this 'perhaps'. It might be that she
shields herself against the cold and it may be that she protects herself
against something different. Warmth is the most essential of all biological
qualities and Lilas instincts try to take care of that. But there might be
something else she is withdrawing from, something unknown on another level.
Something in Lila is retreating into an inner realm.

" the berth of the sailboat was so narrow that this turn of her body brought
her up against him again and he felt the whole length of her and then her
warmth."

They are on a sailboat. What do I know about sailboats ? - You can live in
one if it is big enough - they are very independent in a certain way - they
only need waterways and wind to move on - only elements - not depending on
but using anorganic quality. On the other end they are very restricted,
sailors have always to work and sometimes to fight to move along, very
slowly at times. A sailors life can be very hard at times. Sailboats are not
comfortable - the turn of her body brought her up against him - not even
enough space to turn when you sleep.

And he is feeling her warmth.

" An earlier lust came back and his arm went over her so that his hand held
her breast - full there but too soft, like something over-ripe that would
soon go bad."
He is attracted by that 'what she has left'. Her warmth and her over-ripe
breasts that would soon go bad. This is not much to live on if You ask me.
By beíng attracted he also endangers the warmth she is trying to hold on to.
He does not know, which makes it even worse, but what he is going to do is
endangering her last ressort ?

This might take ages but I do not mind. Some dialogue and diffent opinions
would be nice though. I am floating somewhat in mid-air (Hi there Magnus).
On the other hand "Gravity kills".

Thanx and take GOOD care,

Andreas

Wir wollen gut vorankommen. Die Betonung liegt auf dem 'Gut' und nicht auf
dem 'Vorankommen'.

MOQ.org - http://www.moq.org



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