Re: MD Beyond

From: james marshall (
Date: Thu Mar 11 2004 - 00:38:31 GMT

  • Next message: drose: "Re: MD Beyond"

     Hi Ascmjk,

    I am very sympathetic toward your view that the earth is not in trouble. I
    love a good rant. The best eco-rant rant I have ever heard and subsequently
    read is from George Carlin who is so funny at times that I need a diaper.
    He is also capable of extremely insightful social commentary. For your
    philosophical entertainment I have reproduced his eco-rant below. I have
    cleaned up the naughty words.


    We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save
    something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those
    snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these
    f***ing people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take
    care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're
    gonna save the f***ing planet? I'm getting tired of that s**t. Tired of that
    s**t. I'm tired of f***ing Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous
    environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing
    wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying
    to make the world safe for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't
    give a s***t about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the
    abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're
    interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried
    that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow
     unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.
    Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the
    planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are f***ed. Difference. Difference.
    The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been
    here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic?
    The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here,
    what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been
    engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred
    years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that
    somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this
    beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?
    The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of
    things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics,
    continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic
    reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by
    comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide
    fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic
    bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet..
    the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!
    We're going away. Pack your s**t, folks. We're going away. And we won't
    leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam.
    Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone.
    Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake.
    An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of
    fleas. A surface nuisance.
    You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are
    frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna
    know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia
    or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake
    rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about
    those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an
    active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.
    The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it
    will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a
    self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will
    be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the
    planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus
    plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came
    out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its
    children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from
    it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make
    it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical
    question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...a**hole.
    So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I
    think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be
    fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And
    the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a
    beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet
    will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would
    you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see...
    Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh..
    viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a
    vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that
    compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human
    immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other
    diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread
    sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of
    Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See
    I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think
    we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order.
    Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big
    Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it
    doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.
    Beauty rant, eh?


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